Franciscan Reunion

I almost forgot to mention that we recently hosted an area Franciscan Alumni Reunion at our house.  It was such an honor to do this.  I hope that we can make this an annual gathering.  Much to my amazement, while I did absolutely no preparation, it was a smooth event with an abundance of food.  A household sister of mine was married the day before and I was out of town for her wedding until just about an hour before the reunion started.  I am grateful for how much everyone pitched in!  It was actually kind of nice the way it worked out, as the day was much less about us hosting, and more about everyone having something valuable to contribute (in more than just the food realm:)).  We had some great conversation, praise and worship, and even Mass said by Fr. Drew Curry. 

More Fall Photos

Sorry...I'm frustrated with blogger...I'll try to fix this later. 

Christus In Parvulis

This is the inscription we have in our wedding bands. We put this there for two reasons. 1.) It reminds us often of our need for the virtue of humility in our relationship with God, each other, and everyone else. 2.) We know that much of our sanctification will come about through the graces of parenthood (as long as we respond to those graces)as we lose or lives for our children.

With that, I am pleased to announce that we need to figure out a new Internet name for another Little Blessing who is due around July 23rd. Amazingly, I looked back in my journal (which I don't often write in), and right about the time of conception, I was asking Our Lord to help me embrace the Cross. A few weeks before that, I started to dread the thought of having another child. All of the sacrifices of going through another pregnancy, having a baby who wakes in the middle of the night, more laundry, another person to disrupt the order and organization I long for in the home, getting fat, being needed for nursing--all of these and more seemed so despicable to me just weeks before conceiving. And yet, thanks to Christ and His wonderful grace, my reaction is one of peace and thanksgiving. I am ever so grateful for the opportunities this Little Blessing will bring, and has already been bringing in my life. When moments during the day are tough, the constant thought, at least thus far, has been that this is such a grace, and I have the great gift of having so many opportunities for Christ's glory and power to be manifested in my life. When things come up that I dread, I can say to God, "I really don't like this, and I don't want to do it, but I just ask that Your power would prevail and not my weakness." I have been completely amazed at the result of this prayer. It really is easier to make it through the day when you are not relying on your own power. I only hope that I can continue to grow in this wonderful trust of Our Lord and in the peace that following His will brings.

PS-I think it's a boy, even though I love, love, LOVE the girl's name we have chosen! :)

Happy 30th Birthday, Dear!

That's right. The Man of the House just turned 30 the other day! We had a fun-filled celebration at my parents' with his parents in town too. My parents were very generous and let the kids stay with them, while we got to stay at the hotel and get two glorious nights of sleep!! Also in celebration of 30 years, we took the plunge, and bought a piano! It has been a marvelous blessing! He practices in the evenings after putting the kids to bed, and it is wonderfully calming to everyone in the house!

(Thirty doesn't seem quite as frightening as it used to.)

A Few Fall Photos

Ballerina Babe

Little has enjoyed her ballet classes immensely. Her father has too...as he said after the parent observation class,"I'll pay whatever they want to see that again."

Little Saints

One of the reasons we've been so busy is that Little and Littler have been diving into their "school-work". I mentioned in a post during the summer that I was doing a little trial run with homeschooling. We've all very much enjoyed it, in spite of the great amount of preparation that goes into the Little Saints Preschool curriculum (Just a heads up to anyone considering it.) I still do not know what we will do next year as far as school for Little. I'd like to try homeschooling again, and I've looked into a few things I may like to use. I am relieved that there will not be the great amount of preparation I've been putting into it this year. One aspect that I've enjoyed the most is that I generally feel more relaxed about our home and the state it's in because I've enjoyed the quality time I've spent with the kids doing school work with them. However, I have hired a sitter to come two afternoons a week so that I do have some time to run errands, catch up on things around the house, or just have some relax time to myself. I find that knowing that a sitter is coming also helps me feel more relaxed about the house b/c I know that I will have a few consecutive hours to do the things that are so difficult to do with the Littles at my feet-like clean the bathroom. At any rate, I ask your prayers that as far as the school decision goes, we do the will of God. I'm hesitant to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of a decision one way or the other...I don't think I'd ever come to a decision. So, with that, I've decided it's not about that or what I think the "best" decision is-I've made the focus of the decision on what God is calling our family to do. It is, by the way, difficult to set my love of teaching aside when I pray about it, but I'm doing the best I can.

August? Really?!

I cannot believe it's been August since I last posted! All I can say for myself is that life has been busy, and I am no longer able to get at the computer while Littlest is awake. I don't think I'll complain about that-She's pure joy to have around. I'd rather look at her than a computer screen anyway. I guess I feel the same about the other Littles too! :) Other than that, I have way too many other projects that I've been working on...the biggest being a cross-stitch Advent calendar. It's coming along, but will not be done before Advent, which means that the pajamas I was hoping to make for the kids for Christmas probably won't be done either. *Sigh* There is always next year. I'll try to get everyone caught up on the happenings around here.

More Love Festing...

...Because I can only upload five per post, and these kids are DARN cute!

Love Fest for our Little

Love Fest for our Littler

Love Fest for our Littlest

Punishing Parents

7:30 am. If I haven't had food put in front of me and my cup of milk, I am one unhappy camper. Just this morning (7:40) my daddy tried to tease me with my cup of milk as he doddled with my breakfast preparation. With baited breath I waited and waited and waited, while I whined of course. Never mind that my parents have been trying to get me to use signs so that they know what I want. They always know, so why should I put forth the effort in telling them when my pitiful little whine does the trick...and I get sympathy when I use it. That's the best part. Anyway, when my daddy finally got around to pouring my milk, he chuckled at my sighs of relief, and then he did something I have yet to forgive him for! He handed me my cup and when I reached out to grab it, he took it back and laughed some more! I know! How mean! I was not about to let him get away with it. No way. I refused to take that cup of milk from him, and I let him hear it! I did want that milk pretty badly though, so I was quite relieved when he set it down on the table and I could go grab it when he wasn't looking. Chances are, I'll have to show him who is boss again, just like I do my mommy every time she puts down for a nap, but a pretty little girl like me really needs my milk and beauty sleep. So, I'll always give in, but not without a little punishment first. After all, I am the poor, neglected third child.

I can ignore it no longer!

As the academic year begins, I have been faced with the school question. Instead of preschool, we opted for ballet lessons and Catechesis of the Good Shepard for our oldest. I'm sure she would have done well had I enrolled her in a preschool program, but I felt that she might enjoy ballet more, even though her class is only once a week. I had been comfortable pushing aside the school question, but I'm starting to face the reality that decision time will be here before we know it. She will turn five in April, and though I do feel that I could hold her off another year, I do believe she will be ready for Kindergarten. With that, I decided to try a little homeschooling program to see how we do with it. I hope that this will give us greater peace as we make a decision for her. We are trying to approach the decision taking a great number of things into consideration. Though I'd like to homeschool, I do have some reservations. So, I thought this would give us a little "trial run". I will be using the Little Saints Preschool Curriculum. I've also looked into Five in a Row and Catholic Heritage. I'd love to hear any feedback from anyone with any homeschooling experiences. I'm wondering how you go about choosing the right curriculum for your family. I'd also like to have a realistic idea about the challenges of homeschooling.

I always loved biology.

Please excuse me if this grosses you out! The kids and I found this cicada (or is it a locust?) the other day. I had never seen this before. We all found it fascinating!

The Call to Surrender

As I face the struggle mentioned in a previous post, many sinful and weak tendencies are being brought into light. It is time for the pruning of branches in my heart. It is somewhat painful, and in the past I've often felt"punished" by God during these times. As I continue along my faith journey, however, I am much more aware that pruning and purification are gifts given by God in His generosity, and that He is as gentle with us as He can be. How merciful the Lord is! I believe now more than ever that God's mercy is His greatest attribute, because I have experienced His mercy so abundantly in my life. I now have confidence in His mercy. In large part, this is due to the life, example, and intercession of St. Therese the Little Flower. I highly recommend reading "I Believe in Love" which is based on her teaching.

Though it is not easy, this pruning requires my total surrender to God. I'm grateful for all the ways it is helping to pray so constantly. It must be about 600 times a day that I start to get anxious and worked up and I have to re-give Him the situation. I have to re-give to Him my desire to be understood, my desire to be esteemed, my desire to be right, my desire to know that I am right, my desire to be without fault, my desire to fix the situation, and so on. Surrendering means that I have to let go of my pride and all of the ways it is manifested in my life. It means that I must come before the Lord with unveiled face. Looking back at my years at Franciscan University, I can remember so many, many precious moments of being in the Eucharistic Presence of Christ just letting go and letting Him bring to light all of the darkness in my heart and laying it all at His feet! How beautiful! And I hear Him calling me back to that! Heaven on earth, total surrender to the most Merciful Heart of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament! "O let me love Thee more and more!"

The Death of Facebook

While I enjoyed Facebook, I found myself spending too much time on it, and I also had an addiction to updating my status regularly. Though I tried to make them humorous, I think that perhaps I shared too much with the world through them...I just couldn't help myself sometimes. :) I will miss my family and friends and the communication that I had with them. I'm also working through a personal struggle right now in which I feel the Lord urging me to quiet myself and draw nearer to Him by spending more time just with Him. I've always enjoyed writing, and to do it well requires that reflection and contemplation that God is asking of me and that I am longing for. So, I'm turning toward the blog for a less distracting and hopefully more positive and productive mode of sharing with others. Perhaps Facebook will have a resurrection, but for now, I'm content with becoming a more frequent and "religious" blogger.

We have a budding photographer.

Our oldest is becoming quite the young lady. I enjoy the way her mind works, her conversation, and even her questions, even though on occasion I tell her I need 20 minutes without them. She has been wanting to take pictures, so I let her go to it one day. Most of the pictures on this post, she took. The others I tossed in just for fun, and to demonstrate what these little ones have been "up to" (quite literally sometimes).

"What Binds Us, Frees Us"

I generally try to keep the focus of the blog on sharing the joy of our home with others out of gratitude for the gift that God has given us through the life of our family (albeit imperfect) by following the example of St. Francis ("Preach the Gospel and if necessary use words"). However, every now and then I feel moved to write in more detail, not because I think or feel like I have all of the answers and not because I even think I'm living out my faith in the way I know I should, in the way that I want to live it out. But because through the Holy Spirit, I am given the faith to accept the Church teachings and practice that faith.

In a recent discussion I expressed my openness to having more children (not necessarily immediately, but I am nonetheless open to having more). I am aware that this way of life is counter-cultural, and that became even more evident by the response I received in this conversation. While I was not necessarily offended by the response, this is a matter that is very dear to my heart and one that is so often misunderstood. I do not wish to defend myself. Rather, I wish to defend Jesus Christ and what He teaches through the Church about the gift of our sexuality and the gift of life. While I do not know that my little blog post will be useful to Our Lord in changing anyone's mind or heart on the matter, or that anyone who does not share my belief will read it, I still ardently desire to defend His teaching. I wish to do so as humbly as I can. And please keep in mind that I do not wish to impose my beliefs on anyone...my purpose is, again, simply to defend what I believe to be true, and if I believe it to be true, well then, it deserves sharing. So here goes nothing!

My husband and I have been married for five years, and we have three children ages 4, 2, and 1. Some find it shocking and even somewhat irresponsible that we do not use contraception. We do, however, use natural family planning which involves learning the woman's natural sign posts to determine days of fertility and abstaining on those days (if trying to postpone pregnancy). Contrary to popular belief, natural family planning is not an oppressive, impossible, or imposing way of life, and it is definitely not irresponsible. Indeed, it can be very challenging and even somewhat grueling. I'll be honest and admit that we have experienced times of great frustration in using natural family planning. But, we have at the same time found that it is totally and completely worth the effort! And we have also found that while it feels binding, the reality is that, above all, it is incredibly freeing!

We embrace the Church's teaching about the two purposes of the conjugal act 1.) The unity of spouses through the unselfish and total gift of self. (If one or both spouses withhold fertility, it is not a total gift of self, since one aspect of the self is not given). 2.) The procreation of children. Here I'll refer to the Catechism of the Catholic Church (paragraph 2366)...It is put so beautifully: "Fecundity is a gift, an end of marriage, for conjugal love naturally tends to be fruitful. A child does not come from outside as something added on to the mutual love of the spouses, but springs from the very heart of that mutual giving, as its fruit and fulfillment. So the Church, which is 'on the side of life,' teaches that 'it is necessary that EACH AND EVERY MARRIAGE ACT remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life.' 'This particular doctrine...is based on the inseparable connection...between the unitive and the procreative significance which are both inherent to the marriage act.'

On to my somewhat philosophical support of this teaching. Because of our status as "creatures", the fact of the matter is that there will always be something that, in a sense, binds us. Some try to deny this, and those of us who are Christian can certainly struggle with pride (I know I have) and rebel against the truth of our complete reliance on God. But, there is no getting away from it. We cannot hold ourselves in existence. We did not even choose to exist, and some day we will die. These are truths that bind us-we cannot escape them. There are also laws of nature and science that bind us. We have to eat and sleep to survive. We have vital organs that we cannot live without. When we jump, we always come down. It follows, then, that on the spiritual level, just as on the natural level, the truth binds us. The great irony, however, is that only when we are bound to the truth do we experience freedom in its most real sense. Think about it for just a minute. Without the laws of nature our world would be total chaos-even man makes laws to prevent chaos. Where would we be without traffic laws? We need order to be truly free. If this is true in the natural realm, even more so in the spiritual. That's what God's laws are about. They are about real freedom, not about a list of rules. Spiritually, we face the choice of what will bind us. Will we be bound to the Truth, which in turn will set us free? Or will we be bound to sin and disorder and thus be held captive by them?

This brings me back to the twofold purpose of the marital act. It is Truth. When one of those aspects of the act is missing, we do not experience our sexuality as God intended it. He is, after all, the Creator of this very beautiful act, and since He created it, He certainly has intentions as to how we are to experience it. He knows that when one of these aspects is missing, we do not experience the absolute beauty and power that He intended. The fruit of the act will not be as He truly intended it-this is the case even when it involves the unity of the spouses. Why have a little sliver of the pie when you can have a five course meal-with the whole piece of pie to top it off? He wants us to have it ALL. He wants us to have the deep and powerful pleasure involved in the marital act even MORE than we want it! The truth about sex is binding, but it is meant to set us free to be open to the awesome beauty and treasure hidden in the proper experience of it!

Thanks for reading!! I am grateful for the opportunity to defend my faith-even if it's only on cyberspace. I wish I would have had the time to convey this in the discussion (mentioned above) from the other day. My heart is burning with desire to spread Truth wherever I go. I cannot imagine life without it. May the Lord bless us and make us ever ready to embrace Him and His Truth at every moment, that we may be really and truly free!

Birthday Baby!!!!

Wouldn't want to leave Little Angel #2 out...

Handsome, cute, and so much fun...even with his terrible case of the "Terrible Twos"!

I Love being a terror!

Little Angel #3 is bursting with personality. She is also starting to get in to almost everything! I couldn't get over her look of pride and self satisfaction as she pulled my books down and started spreading them all over the living room. (She chose my "Women of Grace" books-I guess she is already getting started at being a "woman of grace"!)

Flower Girl

Those of you on Facebook have probably already seen some of the flower girl pictures. Little Angel #1 was blessed with the opportunity to be a flower girl at the end of June. This experience was enough to convince me that four years old is just about the perfect age to be a flower girl. Her sense of wander and excitement were priceless.

A few moe pics...

...just becaude they are my favorites.